So generally, I’d say it was about 50-50.

McCain appeared to be the far more confident speaker, better at delivery; Obama stuttered, “um”-ed and paused a lot more.

Obama answered questions more directly, and appeared not to be trying to twist realities to create a smokescreen “truth” that wasn’t really accurate, the way McCain did quite a few times.

McCain’s constant “Senator Obama seems not to understand” refrain was a clear tactic his team hammered into him that he better use, and it was really annoying and obvious after the third time and just insulting after the umpteenth time. And it was a shame Obama wasn’t better at recovering from it without ending up on the offensive. It would have been pretty easy to do, simply by going, “Well, actually, what Senator McCain doesn’t seem to understand is…”

In fact, McCain gave Obama quite a few openings to really lay in about McCain’s voting record related to the current economic crisis with cold, hard facts, and for some reason Obama held off, went for generalities, and instead kept focusing on Bush, which I found disappointing. He also never went in for the kill when he could have, like when McCain said in a general way, “I’ve never supported tax cuts for the rich” (or however he phrased it) with absolutely no examples to back it up, and Obama could have gone right in there and proved him wrong, but he didn’t do so with any real authority.

Obama had the only good, memorable comeback of the night with the axe vs. scalpel metaphor. He also generally did a good job of deflecting McCain’s accusations of him. I just wish he’d done as much direct confronting as he did deflecting. I think he did an okay job at it, but he could have been just a little stronger.

McCain, on the other hand, tended to ramble a bit…especially during his discussion of North Korea…and really didn’t answer much of anything except for his immediate, across-the-board spending freeze solution (how bad would that be?!?).  I loved (cough) how he said how he loved the veterans and would take care of them, despite not explaining any programs he’d support to do so. Same with the health care issue. Also, the whole “I’ll deflect any direct answer of what I actually did/will do with my standard ‘I’m a maverick!!!’ and ‘I’m not Miss Congeniality’ catch phrases” tactic is just really, really annoying. Senator McCain, saying you’re a maverick doesn’t tell us anything. All it tells us is that you’ll be a completely unpredictable president. Tell us what. you. are. going. to. do. And defend your record. I mean, well, obviously you can’t, because much of it is indefensible. Which is why you pull out the maverick bullshit. But really. We’re not that dumb.

Anyway. I thought McCain’s closing was stronger in terms of validating his belief that he’s up for the job; Obama’s instance on using “we” rather than “I” to sum up what he will do felt less strong of a  power “job interview” closing. However, his focus on restoring the relationship of America with the rest of the world was a good one.

Overall, I wouldn’t say either candidate was a clear “winner.” I think at best both candidates probably kept their base solid, but may not have been energetic or skilled enough to have pulled anyone in from the other side, or from the independents. If I was a middle-of-the-road person, I think it would have been hard for me to to decide what to do; although perhaps Obama had a slight edge in that he’s offering something new within a tired system. Or at least, he says he is. I’m not convinced he is all that far left, actually. I think his administration would support measured change, at best. But at this point, any change is better than none.

Now I’m looking forward to next week’s presidential debate. I don’t expect it to be satisfying in terms of debate. Watching it’ll be like watching an tony-winning actor trying to perform a dramatic dialogue with a plaster manniquen equipped with a miked, pre-recorded voicebox stuck inside it. But it will certainly be an interesting experiment to watch.

So I am about to make myself a little nighttime snack (hot chai with almond milk, and this yummy seeded bread, toasted and spread with cashew butter and raw honey, and topped with slices of banana), in preparation to cosy up on this rainy night and watch the Obama/McCain debate. Anyone else gearing up to watch?

I have to admit, I haven’t been this excited about a debate since…well, ever.

I want Obama to kick ass and take names up to six generations back.

So anyway, lemme know what your thoughts are about it once it’s done (or even during!). I don’t have the multitasking ability to watch and liveblog at the same time, so I am gonna switch off to watch it. But may check in just after to share some thoughts…

I’m told that sometime tonight or tomorrow the two big, burly men who do mysterious things to my back end (of my blog, that is), are going to be doing some renovations to the system. They tell me they’ll be packing up my domain/blog and moving it to a new, improved, oooh-you-are-so-big server.

If all goes well, all this will mean for you is a very slight down time for the blog and then everything will look exactly the same as always.

If all doesn’t go well, then you’ll know why I’m down, and it’ll be fixed eventually.

In the meantime, enjoy the delicious suspense of it all…

For those of you who’d like an update on the progress of topic of the last post, here it is.

Heard back from MOS. It’s a friends thing. It was transmitted very congenially and politely (if days after the fact), with complete interest expressed in still doing things together should I be interested.

I still think I haven’t completely lost my radar; I’m pretty certain a number of signs of attraction were there. But maybe I’m just more than he can handle conceptually, what with all the differences. Or maybe I was totally off. Who knows. Probably doesn’t matter.

Now, on to working to keep myself from believing (as I have normally done) that this response has global-scale implications about my overall desirability/worth to everyone else in the entire world…

I think I can do that. But really, sometimes I wish my mind would cut me a break and just gift me the confidence to instantly see these things as inconsequential gnat-size incidents, instead of always tending toward trying to to build it up into a maelstrom. It would be nice to not have to work so hard to keep things under control and in perspective.

Also–he’s still inviting me to go along with him on Saturday if I want. But as a positive action, when I didn’t hear from him until (now) two and a half days before said event, I went and planned something else to do on that day with someone else instead. So I at least managed to do that instead of keeping everything else open in order to wait for his response. I think it’s a bad idea to revolve my plans around vague hints offered by someone who can’t commit to a plan, or thinks I have no life and can just wait around for their whim. Been there, done that. Not anymore. I’m not gonna wait around for anyone who’s being ambivalent about wanting to spend time with me, whether friend or date.

Your opinion is requested. All of your opinions; but most especially if you are a male, because clearly I can not figure you guys out.

Okay. So given that I’d put myself on an extended dating hiatus during the last few years, it may be my skills are rusty, but not so rusty that I don’t generally recognize at least some signs of interest. But I’ve been mulling this one over in my head for a while and I’m not sure what to think. And it bugs me. Maybe you can offer an opinion. Here are the facts as they stand:

1) I met a particular male of species (MOS) who I find visually attractive a couple of months back through a few friend-group events at nightclubs.

2) MOS has progressively begun to speak to me more and more at these events.

3) MOS has recently (over the last 2-3 weeks) developed a lengthy email habit with me (by this I mean the emails are long in length, covering a variety of topics we’re both interested in; and occur at least a couple of times a week) in which many get-to-know-me-better conversations are shared. These include mentions of life philosophies, politics, light jokes about sex, and the mailing of article links that he thinks might spur my interest if I haven’t written in a few days.

4) The emails also generally suggest doing various activities (”this is coming up next saturday,” “I read about this cool play I’m interested in,” “I’d be interested in going to that thing you mentioned,” but fall short of the traditionally obvious, “Will you go out with me on said date?”

5) While some of the email conversation has skirted around some sex and relationship related topics, and some of that has been jokey, nothing has been *directly* flirty (as in, I’ve given him some conversational openings that would have allowed him to flirt jokingly about me in particular to indicate personal interest in me, and he hasn’t taken the bait–he keeps the topic generic and not personal).

6) In the last email exchange, MOS gives me a rundown of what’s happened with him since the weekend and mentions that at a club last week, after having a few drinks, he arranged to go on a date with a girl, which he did on Wednesday, but it turned out the girl “is not his type” and that he should have known better than to ask someone out at a club after a few drinks because compatibility judgment can be impaired.

7) There were plans being made to go out with usual friends’ group tonight. MOS expressed interest to me about knowing what I was doing before major group activity, and thought he might want to go along (I was planning on going to dinner with a friend); asked me to keep him informed.

8) On day of potential dinner, I emailed MOS to let him know other friend had bailed on dinner due to acceptable excuse, but that I would still be willing to go to dinner with him if he felt like it; he should please inform. (This would allow him his first opportunity for real alone time with me if he wanted to take it.)

9) MOS did not answer email all day.

10) I wrote at end of work day to say I was assuming he wouldn’t be able to make dinner based on not hearing so here was the time we’d be at the event and I’d see him there. (It was already confirmed he was going to said event.) Provided my numbers in case he had any questions re the plans.

11) That evening, I am getting myself done up to go to event; about an hour before I need to leave the house–too late to have dinner at that point. MOS calls. (I am surprised by this.) MOS says he wanted to let me know he only just got my email just then. I am pleasant and say no worries, no problem at all (and I mean it), we’ll just see him there. MOS pauses and then tells me what time he plans to be there. I say okay. MOS seems flustered, like he’s not sure what to say next, but appears to not want to get off the phone. I ask him a few polite questions; which he starts answering. Then I suggest we finish the conversation at the event. We hang up.

12) At event, MOS spends time with other friends, but appears to be taking opportunities to talk to me alone. When I go to the bar to buy a drink for myself and a friend, two minutes later he is at the bar to, so he says, order a drink for himself and while he’s at it order one for our other friend in common  (a female, married). But instead  he talks to me for probably 20 minutes and does not order a drink; lets the bartender ignore him. Finally bartender asks him directly what he wants and he orders a drink for the friend and just pours himself a glass of water.

13) Other similar things happen throughout the night. For inst, I leave the group, who is dancing, to sit down at a booth and wait out a song I don’t particularly like. He follows and sits down in booth with me. Talks with me for long time. At another point, I indicate to the group that I am going to the bar to get some water. He says he thinks he will join me. More talking. Etc. 

14) However, NO FLIRTING during any of these conversations. Just pleasant conversation, sometimes deep stuff, sometimes clever sarcasm, sometimes jokes…like that. But never even a slightly direct flirt. 

15) He re-points out to me (just pointed out in an email the day before) that a bi-monthly arts event that I had mentioned a while back that I wanted to check out next time around is next Saturday and that he is planning on going to it. But he does not DIRECTLY ask if I want to go with him;  the tone is more like he is just letting me know it is happening and he is going. It seems I’m open to invite myself along, but it seems he is avoiding asking, “Do you want to go with me?” It is an extremely casual mention, and quickly dropped when I offer a kind of vague “Oh yeah, that is coming up isn’t it; I was reading about the theme” response (because I feel weird inserting myself in someone else’s plans if I can’t tell if they’re really into me being there).

16) Throughout the night, MOS shows no interest in trying to meet or speak to any other women at the event besides me (other than our married friend); and there are many women available there to meet–an opportunity that another male in our group takes full advantage of.

17) Toward the end of the night, he spends a some time dancing with our married friend, but at the end of the night, comes back around to dance with and talk to me before he leaves. 

18) As we leave, I offer MOS a ride to a metro stop (out of the way for me, but more safe for him, because otherwise he has to run to catch the very last metro of the night near the venue we’re at before it leaves and he’s stuck–and time is short). Note: this would allow him his SECOND opportunity for real alone time with me if he wanted to take it.

19) MOS turns down the offer and opts to grab the one that is a closer walk to the club (but that he has to dash to and may miss).

So–opinions? Is he interested? Confused? Trying to suss out my level of interest first before jumping in there? Just being polite to an old chick? And should I even be concerned about this given the age difference? OR given that I really want a guy who has the confidence and fortitude to come out and say if he likes me and wants to go on a date? I really don’t want to have to do all the work yet again. I want to be pursued. Obviously pursued, so there’s no doubt.

Once, a long time ago, I was listening to an adult entertainer on the Howard Stern show, and when asked if she would try the Sybian, she said she would, but she was doubtful of the effects, because she didn’t do machinery well. She was, she said, “More of a cock and hand girl.”

I can relate. For years, I’ve heard women extol the virtues of vibrators and the orgasms they got from them…and after enthusiastically going out and trying a few myself, I was left wondering what the fuss was about. I have never had trouble reaching orgasm, either alone or with others; so on that count, a vibe didn’t seem like a necessary tool. But given the extreme enthusiasm I saw other women expressing about them, I wondered if perhaps vibes could deliver additional benefits beyond that: like much more extreme, powerful orgasms, delivered more quickly, for instance. And of course, a vibe would mean less mess (in a way), if that’s something one considers a drawback to manual stimulation.

Anyway, over the years I bought and tried out a couple of vibes (these were all battery operated models) to see if this hypothesis might hold water, and found it that for me, it didn’t. Vibrators all seemed too weak, too ineffective, and I took LONGER to orgasm with a vibe than I would through any human-created way. Nor were the orgasms stronger; and quite often they were less strong, less extreme, and less pleasurable than the ones I could give myself alone, or that others gave me. So I gave up on vibrators. They were expensive, I told myself, and paying so much without any guarantee of better pleasure seemed a bad investment.

However, before I threw in the towel on this experiment forever, there were two vibrators I wanted to try out–two vibrators that are spoken of with almost religious awe. I’m talking, of course, about the two most powerful vibes in the known universe–the Eroscillator and the Hitachi Magic Wand. I figured if anything was going to work for me in the vibe department, it would be one of these two, or I could give up trying completely.

Well, I’m pleased to report that this birthday season was a happy one for me and my vagina. I received not one, but BOTH of these mythological pleasure creatures only a week apart from each other. The first, the Eroscillator, was sent to me by a very generous friend who I can’t thank enough. The second, and the one I’m going to write about today, the Hitachi Magic Wand, was sent to me to try out by the fabulous Eden Fantasys, in exchange for an honest review.

I am just so delighted that my experiment can continue!

So, let’s talk Hitachi.

I was so excited when this box arrived in the mail (in very discreet packaging from a very non-obvious return address, I might add–well done on the privacy front, Eden Fantasys!). This vibe has staying power–it has probably been talked about and praised for more decades than any other vibe on earth. What’s even more interesting is that while everyone seems to know of it and use it strictly as a vibe, its reputation as such is still entirely spread by word of mouth. Nowhere on its box or instruction manual will you ever get any indication that it can be used as anything other than a “house hold [sic] electric massager.”

 And speaking of the Magic Wand’s box, Hitachi appears to have not changed its packaging since the mid-’80s. Check out those aerobicisers! Well, who wouldn’t need a good massage after one of those intense Jane Fonda workouts? Heh, if I didn’t know Eden Fantasys’s reputation and the constantly high demand for this vibe (it often sells out, and there was a near panic when Hitachi discontinued it for a few years a while back), I would have guessed from the box design that the store had had this sitting on the shelf for a few decades.

As to the instruction manual that comes with it, as I mentioned above, if you’re looking for detailed instructions on how exactly to use it in order to achieve orgasm, you’re not going to find them there–you’ll have to check out Eden Fantasys’s helpful staff and user reviews and product info or go a-Googling. Though I’ll admit that regardless, the instruction manual WAS still a fun read–in an amusingly bossy translated-into-English-by-a-non-native-speaker way:

“The rated maximum continuous use of your massager is 25 minutes. That’s really long enough.”

It also told me the Hitachi can “remove everyday dullness.” Wow, it really IS a magic wand. I totally need to bring it to my next work meeting.

Anyway, enough about the box and paper. Onto the wand itself.

The Hitachi Magic Wand (henceforth, HMW) doesn’t really look like a wand at all. This is no gentle, airy, thin little twig wafted about by dainty fairies. In reality, the HMW looks more like a really massive microphone from back in the ’80s, with an era-appropriate white and turquoise Miami Vice colored design. And it’s heavy. This is not the vibe you want to take with you on a trip if you’re worried your luggage might go over the weight limit.

But this baby pretty much needs to have a substantial build, because it’s POWERFUL. In fact, I’m willing to bet it’s the strongest vibrator on earth. Without sturdy construction, the vibrations would pretty much shake the whole thing to pieces.

The Hitachi is a plug-in only vibe, which is a plus in terms of bringing you that power. On the minus side, the cord is pretty short. The outlet I tested it out on is at the head of my bed. When plugged in there, the hitachi barely reached to the middle of the bed. So those who want great freedom of movement or whose outlets aren’t all that near where they want to use it are probably going to need an extension cord.

 The HMW is controlled by a two-sided switch which gives you two options: low and high. But really they should be called “high” and “jackhammer, ” because seriously, even the lowest setting is going to give you more power than any regular vibe. Another thing you need to know: it’s loud. Easily the loudest vibe I’ve ever heard. If you have any need in your home environment to make sure no one knows you’re using a vibrator, this absolutely ain’t the model for you.

On the other hand, if you’ve always wished in the midst of a session that your current toy(s) would just get a little stronger, for god’s SAKE, like I tended to do, you’ll find the HMW delivers in spades on that front. The HMW is what I tend to call a “shaky vibe”–rather than rotate or oscillate, it basically shakes really, really hard. So hard that when you put it against you, it’s pretty close to feeling like a mild pummeling. Not in a painful way, but still. It’s not a gentle vibe.

And in line with that, while it certainly delivers in strength, it lacks a bit in finesse. This is an external vibe (unless you buy separate attachments to go over the top) and the head is BIG. Don’t expect it to be able to subtly hone in on your clitoris; if you’re getting your clit all shook up, you’re also going to get a whole lot of the area around it pummeled, too. I found this a little frustrating because, due to the HMW’s extreme power (and I could only orgasm on the highest setting), my entire nether regions other than my clitoral area would quickly become numb, and it would take a while after I turned off the vibe for sensation to come back. I find it a bit freaky to walk around with a numb pudenda. It just feels wrong.

But did it get me to orgasm? Yes it did. And possibly a little faster than other shaky vibes have done in the past–but not so much so that I’d write home about it. On the intensity front, it did deliver quite an intense orgasm, if I was willing to hang in there and wait for it and ignore the numbness slowly creeping into my nether-regions. However, I tend to be extremely sensitive in the seconds after I come, and the HMW bangs against the body so hard that if I wasn’t careful to remove it immediately upon orgasmic explosion, the situation got somewhat painful. That was a definite con for me–during those moments, I don’t want to have to take the time to THINK or DO anything; I just want to ride it out. It was impossible for me to do so with the Hitachi. I either had to keep the vibe there and put up with some oversensitivity-induced pain during the coming down part of the orgasm, or I had to settle for the stimulation being IMMEDIATELY withdrawn upon the first big orgasmic spasm, which for me felt sort of like a lover bringing you to orgasm and then while you’re still mid-writhe, he walks abruptly out of the room.

So, all in all, what has this experience added to my ongoing vibe experiment? Well, by testing out the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy of shaky vibes, I think I’ve established that I am just not built for shaky vibes in general, no matter how powerful they are.

BUT, if you have tried other shaky-style vibes and found great pleasure in them, I think you’d be a fool to not try the HMW. Because whatever orgasm you’re getting from those vibes is likely to be turned up to 11 with the Hitachi Magic Wand.

To sum up:

Pros: Massively powerful; not a blatant sex toy–easy to cover up as “just a massager” if necessary (that is, assuming you have a bunch of ignorant friends or airline bag inspectors who don’t know the HMW’s reputation); substantially sized and easy to grip

Cons: SO powerful you may experience numbness if you’re the sensitive type; loud; a bit heavy; cord’s a little too short

And once again, many thanks to Eden Fantasys for giving me an opportunity to do a test run. Seriously, go check out their site. It’s sophisticated and easy to use, and totally customer friendly. They’re really good about including every ounce of information about their products you could ever want, from safety and popularity ratings to cleaning tips–and they put up every single user review submitted, including the negative ones, so that you can get a wide spectrum of opinion on any toy before you buy. I can be a bit of a research whore before I buy something, so the site really pleased me on that front. And as you can see from the review above, I’m not the type to praise something if I don’t mean it.

And I’d also be remiss if I didn’t thank the splendiferous AAG for helping to organize all the details that made this possible. Thanks, darlin’.

I don’t know who this Jim White character is, but he’s got the “sitting alone at midnight, in the summer, thinking” feel down pat.

Thanks, Ben. Sorry I didn’t appreciate this one quickly enough when you sent it. It’s lovely.

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Photo credit: Midnight playing, by Juän_, via Flickr. Click on the photo to see it on the artist’s page.

I don’t know why I’m bothering because at this point I’m sure no one’s reading anymore.

Tonight I’m feeling pretty miserable. Rule 1: don’t watch romantic comedies during PMS-danger-zone times of the month. Rule 2: don’t cancel social plans due to rainy weather in order to sit at home watching romantic comedies during PMS-danger-zone times of the month.

All I can say is tonight I’m tired. Not usually. Usually I’m hopeful. But tonight, I feel tired. There’s been a long road with lots of walking and lots of tasks and lots of little victories gathered from unexpected nests along the way like precious little blue speckled eggs into a wicker basket. I look down at the accumluation and I am grateful. I really am. But it’s taken a lot of work and my feet are tired.

So I’m just putting out there, that maybe once in a while, I’d like a big victory. Like right now, for instance. A big victory, delivered fast, with no work, and delivered to me by someone who wouldn’t mind staying for a spell. Actually, not just who wouldn’t mind–someone who really thinks staying for a spell would be the best thing in the world they could ever imagine. 

I’m sick of being lonely and I want to remember what it feels like to be wanted. By someone I want, that is.

I’m also sick of being at a loss of who I’d feel okay calling and telling this to other than a blog. I miss my best friends. I mean, they’re all still alive, of course. But I mean I miss them the way they were before, when they had the time to care and to rank me among their primary people to care about.

When I was twenty and standing in some pub in Galway laughing with my best friend in the world, being unexpectedly serenaded by men on a stage with guitars, I never imagined this picture, this future me, this me I am now, typing this tonight.

And I wonder if anything beautiful and rare like that would ever happen again for me, no longer being a twenty-year-old girl. And I wish I’d appreciated it more back then. Those dumb little romantic things in life.

That is all.

Here’s a cool meme that’s been going around that triggers the bragging instinct in every foodie geek. I’ve seen it on many sites, but it originated here as The Omnivore’s Hundred, a subjective list of 100 food items( (not all gourmet, but all “iconic” in their way) that Andrew Wheeler, co-author of the British food blog Very Good Taste, thinks every omnivore should try at least once in her or his life.

Here are the rules:
1. Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2. Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3. Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4. Optional extra: post a comment on Very Good Taste, linking to your results.

My list is below. I’ve added some comments here and there after some items for context.

I’ve tried 70 items on the list–pretty damn good. I am missing 30 items, but most of them I’d try if the opportunity arose. Nothing on the list scares me; some of them I don’t get why anyone would want to try, because they don’t really seem like “food” to me, but I wouldn’t hesitate to try them, anyway. I’ve crossed out only the extreme chili-based foods, pretty much, because my genetics gave me no tolerance for them at ALL. However, given the choice of chili or death, I’d eat even the chilis. 

So how many can you boast? If you do this one on your blog, let me know in the comments so I can check it out.  If you don’t have a blog, you can always put your list in the comments. And do you think he left anything out that you’d add?

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros (not tried only because of my inability to tolerate chilis, but I’ve had similar egg blends that weren’t quite the traditional dish)
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile (I have had alligator, though)
6. Black pudding  (in Spain, went under a different name)
7. Cheese fondue (oh, so many times)
8. Carp (in the form of gefilte fish)
9. Borscht (my grandmother was Russian)
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Phở
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart 
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (plum wine and mead–well, okay, honey isn’t technically a fruit, but I feel the need to mention it)
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream (but I didn’t like it when I tried it as a kid and haven’t had it since…wonder if I should try again)
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries (wild raspberries and blackberries along hiking trails in Oregon)
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (again, I am unable to eat chilis, otherwise I’d try it)
27. Dulce de leche (I’ve had it as ice cream, but not the traditional dish)
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda (I’d never even heard of this before, and now I’m desperate to try it. Where does one find it?)
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi (I’ve had plain and mango lassi, but not salted)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float (I may have had a tiny taste of someone’s as a kid, but I hate soda, so, not counting this one)
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (cognac, but no cigar)
37. Clotted cream tea (have had clotted cream, but not in tea…?)
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo 
40. Oxtail (in soup)
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (cicada)
43. Phaal (again, chilis. sigh.)
44. Goat’s milk (in cheese, but not liquid form)
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/€80/$120 or more (oh yes. yes, yes.)
46. Fugu (I’d only eat from a very reputable chef)
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel 
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut* (why do people keep insisting these are better than other donut shops’ donuts? They’re not.)
50. Sea urchin (yes, yes, yes!)
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone (in sushi, but I can’t even remember what i tasted like)
54. Paneer (mixed into Indian dishes)
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal 
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (hate gin. Dirty VODKA martini, yes.)
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine (I would love to try this, but have never come across it)
60. Carob chips (in every trail mix in the 70s)
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (Huh? I guess I’d try it, but…is this technically a food? I thought it was a digestive additive. I’ve never even heard it’s had a distinct taste. What’s the point?)
64. Currywurst (never even heard of it before)
65. Durian (I’ve had durian-flavored gelato, but not the fruit itself)
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake (no, yes, yes, and yes)
68. Haggis (both original and vegetarian!)
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette (but I have had kishka, which is kind of the Jewish equivalent)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (I haven’t had the traditional sugar preparation, but I’ve had lots of absinthe, so I’m counting it)
74. Gjetost, or brunost (LOVE it)
75. Roadkill (only if I were desperate, and it would depend on what the roadkill was exactly, but I’m loathe to say never, so I won’t cross it out)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini (I think)
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare (I can’t remember, but there’s a possibility I’ve had this)
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse (I wasn’t going to cross this out, but every time I thought about trying it, I got a queasy feeling. Who knew this would be my one gross-out factor, even above roadkill? I guess, like roadkill, I’d eat it if I were desperate, though.)
90. Criollo chocolate (I would assume so)
91. Spam 
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa (chilis)
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox (please. hello?)
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee (it’s likely, but I rarely pay attention to the kind of drip coffee I’m served; I only really like espresso)
100. Snake (in soup)

Okay, so I have been thinking about this for a while and I think very much want to live in San Franciso. But I would also need to be able to make very regular visits to the east coast. (With some extra time to travel other places occasionally, too.) Which would mean I’d need an affordable place to live (in a non-lethal area, please), a lot of time flexibility (an ideally lots of time flexibility so I could do creative projects), and I’d need to find a way to afford the back and forth travel. Whether that’s through becoming someone’s Kato Kaelin, house sitting, just getting good rent, being gifted a house, free airline points, getting some tip-offs from acquaintances in the travel industry, receiving massive windfalls of cash, or some other solution…well, I won’t say it’s irrelevant, because I’d love boatloads of cash most, but I’m open to any solution.

Given I’m not rich (yet), I just can’t figure out how to make this idea work. And I’ve been tossing it around in my brain for almost a year now. I need some help. Any ideas or suggestions? What could I do? How could I make all this possible?

In a best case scenario, I’m not looking for extremely general, daydream ideas like “you could get invited to be caretaker of a rich person’s house while they’re in Europe for two years;” or “you could find a writer’s retreat that will house and feed you for a year.” I am really in need of moving to the next step–I need some real, practical solutions for how to FIND that rich person, or that retreat (just two of many examples).

I’ve always been such a resourceful person, and I find myself at a loss. And this frustrates me. I’m hoping if I put my wish out to the universe, the universe will find a way to answer me.

The universe, and you, that is. Any and all ideas and offers will be most welcome.